Social media

I downloaded a new app the other day, called the Pub. Even though you’ve probably never heard of it, this app was actually around long before Twitter and Instagram, and even before Facebook. I say I downloaded it, but the app isn’t actually available on my phone or my laptop or my X-Box, so I had to actually go through this weird process of leaving my flat and using my legs to move to another building.

As with other social media platforms the Pub enables you to share stories and experiences with friends, but the key feature of the Pub is actual interaction with live bodies in real time. With this, the main form of communication is through moving the lips and jaw in a process of what is called ‘talking’, which is like WhatsApp but without emojis. To me, the lack of emojis at first seemed like a massive drawback of this platform, until I realised that it is possible to reproduce a passable imitation of a smiley using my facial muscles.

It is also possible to engage in diverting activities such as pool, darts or skittles, competitive activities in which you play against each other in teams, not totally unlike MMORPGs, the main difference being that you are not in your flat, typing and moving an avatar, but actually using your physical body to move an object from one place to another. In fact it’s a bit like a cross between a normal video game and using the Gym, except it’s supposed to be for fun instead of getting ripped abs/bis/tris/pecs/lats. If you haven’t worked your glutes/quads/hams for the last few years (I know I haven’t!) it might be worth doing a couple of squats before trying any of these activities, as the amount of standing involved can be exhausting.

All in all, I’d give the Pub a rating of 214, based on the amount of fun that is possible. The main drawback is you have to get people to meet you at the particular building at the same time that you are there. I would say that it takes some getting used to, but once you’ve mastered it, it’s well worth the hassle.